The real meaning of Magneto's Acolytes
by redfox and megane-chan
Summary: A sadly sadistic fic on the lives of Magneto's Acolytes. PG for Perfectly Good reasons. Magneto gives his Acolytes a 'small' loyalty check-up.


The real meaning of Magneto's Acolytes  
  
By: Redfox and Megane-chan [This is a joint project… so there. *sticks out tongue*]  
  
**  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing. Leave us to our corner, which we don't own either…  
  
"If you can catch it, you can eat it. No questions asked."  
  
**  
  
"Everyone gather at the living room! It's time for our daily loyalty check up!"  
  
Everyone in the room, with the exception of Pietro, groaned. For one thing, they were all already at the living room, including Magneto who still insisted on using the newly installed intercom. The horrible device made his voice sound like a rat squeaking while slowly being chopped into hundreds of small pieces. For another, these daily 'loyalty' check ups make torturing, drowning and burning at once [including sticking a real needle into both your eyes] seem like a mere pinch compared to what you had to do to pass.   
  
"Stand up!" Magneto ordered, FLOATING to the center of the room dramatically… just because, "Now, You all know the drill… stand in a straight line in front of me… yes, you too son."  
  
Pietro made a pouting face as Pyro stuck his tongue out; nonetheless he joined the other members in a line in front of their 'boss.'  
  
"Good. Pyro!" Magneto called, pointing at the pyromaniac, "You get the honor of being the first one I shall test today."  
  
"Whoopee." Pyro whispered flatly to Gambit who snickered softly to himself like a schoolboy during a school assembly.   
  
"Exhale." Magneto commanded, completely missing the boy's "enthusiastic" gesture "Exhale. Exhale… Exhale…"  
  
So Pyro did. He exhaled and exhaled and exhaled and exhaled but when he couldn't take it anymore he inhaled a breath of air and had Magneto literally and figuratively spit at him.  
  
"DID I TELL YOU TO INHALE?! DID I? WELL, DID I?! I SAID EXHALE! EXHALE!"  
  
"Yes sir, sorry sir." Pyro apologized quickly, exhaling once more, "I'm really, really, really-"  
  
"I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO SAY SORRY!" Pyro instantly shut up but alas, this wasn't enough for Magneto, "I DIDN'T TELL YOU NOT TO ANSWER ME! NOW EXHALE BEFORE I WRAP YOU IN METAL AND THROW YOU INTO THE OCEAN!"  
  
Pyro exhaled again, Gambit and Colossus giving him pitying looks as he continued with his 'test.'  
  
"Good. Now hold it, Hold it… good."  
  
Magneto turned to Gambit, "Your turn."  
  
"But sir… Pyro…" Gambit started but shut up when he noticed Magneto getting ready to yell at him.  
  
Magneto narrowed his eyes at Gambit, "Good. You know your place. NOW… YOU Gambit shall…" He looked around until his sights fell on a rug by the door, "You shall charge that rug and wrap it around yourself."  
  
Gambit shrugged indifferently and walked over to the plush rug, "S'cuse moi. I shall have to charge you a small fee… say, twenty-"  
  
"DON'T MOCK ME! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"  
  
The Cajun sighed sadly and picked up the rug, 'charging' it as he slowly wrapped it around himself. Colossus saw the anxiety in the others' eyes and was about to say something to console his teammate but he remembered Magneto and decided to do the smart thing and kept quiet.  
  
Gambit had his eyes shut tight as he finished charging the plush rug with kinetic energy. He slowly removed his hands from the rug, and with a large "BOOM!" he was on the floor, fried, sizzling and unconscious.  
  
"GET UP!" Magneto commanded, kicking the unconscious mutants body, "I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO GET HURT AND FAINT! GET UP DAMN YOU!"  
  
He stopped kicking Gambit to stare at him for a while. When the fallen Acolyte didn't get up he resumed kicking.  
  
"FINE!" The enraged master of magnetism spat nudging Gambit's limp body one last time with his foot, "You fail… just like Pyro."  
  
He glared at the Australian, who was withering, blue faced, on the floor. His lips opening and closing like a fish out of water.  
  
"Colossus. Your turn."  
  
Colossus instantly snapped to attention, "Yes sir?"  
  
"I DID'T TELL YOU TO CALL ME SIR! …But anyway, your test is to bang your head against a wall… AND DON'T BREAK IT!"  
  
The large Russian gulped, "S-sir? N-Not break it?"  
  
"YES! NOT BREAK IT! ARE YOU DEAF AS WELL AS METAL? Besides, I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO ASK ME A QUESTION! NOW GO!"  
  
Colossus slowly walked to the nearest wall and silently prayed that his head wasn't as hard as it used to be… which was as hard as metal. [Duh.]  
  
"BAM!" "CRASH!" Too bad. His skull WAS as hard as metal.  
  
"DO IT AGAIN! I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO BREAK IT NOW DID I?!" When Colossus didn't answer and continued to bang his head against walls, continuously breaking them, Magneto lost his patience, "ANSWER ME… AND STOP BANGING YOUR HEAD!"  
  
The metal man instantly stopped banging his head on the wall, "No sir! You didn't tell me to break it-"  
  
"WHO TOLD YOU TO ANSWER?! I CERTAINLY DIDN'T!"  
  
"B-But sir! Y-You were-"  
  
"YOU'RE SAYING THAT I'M WRONG?! ARE YOU?! WELL, ARE YOU?!" Magneto floated a few feet higher to make himself look more menacing.  
  
Colossus cowered before his boss, putting his arms protectively over his head, completely forgetting that it was as hard as steel. Therefore, Magneto couldn't hurt him… technically, "N-No sir… I-I didn't think that…"  
  
"OF course you didn't think! You're an idiot! YOU DON'T THINK! Now CONTINUE WITH YOU TEST!"  
  
Not trusting himself enough to say anything, Colossus instantly got right back to banging his head on the walls. [Which, sadly, kept breaking.]  
  
"Mastermind!" Magneto barked, facing the said mutant, "Your turn."  
  
Mastermind considered his options, he could make himself look invisible to Magneto, allowing his boss to forget about giving him the test today, or he could stay put and take the test. Decisions… Decisions…  
  
"Yes sir! I'm ready for my test." He said although his sweat and the nervousness in his voice gave him away.  
  
But Magneto didn't care… he rarely did…  
  
"Good… BUT I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO TALK!"  
  
Mastermind straightened his back as far as it could go and quietly… kept quiet.  
  
"Now… for your test I order you to imagine ME in a BIKINI."  
  
The Acolyte nearly screamed in terror, instead he did as he was told and, lets just say… he's now scarred for life.  
  
"MY MIND! IT BURNS!" Mastermind screeched, clutching his head in agony, "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!!!"  
  
"YOU DARE INSULT ME?!" Magneto boomed instantly. It never occurred to both mutants that Mastermind could have just been faking it, and instead of having a picture of Magneto in a bikini [*shudder*] he could have had a picture of a cute puppy wagging his tail happily.  
  
Oh well.  
  
"PIETRO!" Magneto called, "Your turn!"   
  
Pietro ran up to his father, "Yeah dad?"  
  
"Pietro, Your test is to go into the kitchen and make me a mug full of cold hot chocolate"  
  
In under a second Pietro ran into the kitchen and out again, handing his father half a glass of warm tap water.  
  
"GOOD PIETRO!" The boys father congratulated without bothering to drink the water [or even look at it for that matter] and throwing it into a nearby garbage can, "Come! Let us celebrate!  
  
"Yay!" Pietro cheered childishly clapping his hands together, "Mall!!"  
  
"No!' magneto interrupted, "We shall go to the park!"  
  
"AWWWWWWW…" The speed demon gave his father uncharacteristic puppy dog eyes, complete with The Lip.  
  
His father sighed in defeat, "Alright. To the mall it is!"  
  
So father and son threw their arms around one another's shoulder, making their way to the door of the base.  
  
"I'm just glad that you passed son." Magneto congratulated… again, "Not like those idiots.'  
  
He thrust his thumb in the direction of the choking, blue faced Pyro, crisp and blackened Gambit, frustrated and debris covered Colossus and the mentally scarred Mastermind who was curled up in a corner rocking back and forth, whimpering; all of whom, including Gambit [subconsciously], heard what their boss said.  
  
Oh the wonderful words of a dead man…  
  
**  
  
Redfox: … Megane-chan's not here right now… *looks around* I think… 


End file.
